Haha, ano ba yan. Sa lahat ng masesend, at ng masesendan, sa kanya pa.

Haay. Wah. Anu nalang yon.

Haay kakahiya.

Haay.

Haaaay…

Pagkatapos ng 141, bumaba kaming tatlo. Naupo sa may gilid ng lobby. Walang silya. Pinagpilian na ang mga topic sa term paper. Nagmamadali si Karl kaya minadali namin. Tinanong nya kung ano number ni Karl, tapos itinuro naman niya ako. Edi naisip kong hanapin na sa mobile ko yung number.

Naglakad na kami papuntang cafeteria. Nakita ko na. Edi inabot ko sa kanya para kopyahin nya. Sabi ko, bilis-bilisan naman nya. Aba, at lalo namang binagalan! Sabi ko, nananadya ka yata e. Tapos sabi nya, ay mali na tuloy dapat ko nang uliting kopyahin. Naglakad ako ng pabaliktad hanggang narating namin yung back exit. Tapos nawala na sa isip ko yung mobile.

Bumili na kami ng makakain. Baked mac. Nakakuha na ko ng yelo para sa C2 apple kong boring kasi di na malamig. Bumalik ako sa mesa namin sa labas, inagawan ko siya ng silya. Naupo kami. Kumain. Patapos na siya at kinukulit ko sya tungkol sa mobile ko. Sabi nya, binigay ko na sayo. Ganun nang ganun ang sagot nya. Nainis ako. Siyempre, ginamitan ko ng death glare. Sabi ko, wala ako sa mood makipaglokohan ngayon. Alam ko nasayo pa yun. Ipinilit nyang wala parin. Tapos nauwi sa ano raw ba makukuha nya pag inagaw at di nya ibalik yon sakin. Sagot ko, pwede mo kong i-blackmail. Sabi nya, ano rin maidudulot ng blackmailing nya sakin. Sagot ko naman, marami. Tumahimik kaming parehas habang ipinapakita ko paring naiinis ako (kahit di naman gaano). Sabi ko, ibalik mo na. Sagot nya, make me. Tapos dagdag nya, may extra akong damit, kahit ibuhos mo yang pasta sakin. Sabi ko, gusto mo ng away? I don’t mind ang sagot nya. Ah ganun, sabi ko naman tapos tiningnan ko nanaman siya nang masama.

Pagkatapos ng kung anu-anong mga sinabi pa ay hinugot na nya sa bulsa nya at sabi nya, sige na nga. Inaabot nya sakin. Sabi ko na parang nag-uutos, ilapag mo. Ayaw niya. Tinuktok ko yung mesa. Ibaba mo rito, inulit ko. Ayaw nya. Tinuloy ko pagkain ko, at sinabi kong mangangalay siya. Ayos lang daw, kaliwang kamay naman daw gagamitin nya. Hindi na ko sumagot, tinapos ko na yung pasta. Inexplore nya yung cel at may mga password nga sa files. Tinanong nya skin yung password. Ayokong ibigay. SIyempre no. Tapos kinuhanan nya ko ng litratong panakaw. Haha. Nalinlang ako dun a. Tapos kinuha ko na.

Pinuna nya yung pic ko sa harap. Kala nya naging boyfriend ko rin yung kapatid ng best friend ko. Sabi ko naman, bata yan hamak no. Sagot nya, e mukha kayong high school dito. Sabi ko, last sem lang kaya yan! Di siya naniniwala, at mukha raw talaga akong high school don. Tapos sabi ko akala ko ba maaga kang aalis ngayon. E hayaan ko na raw yun. May klase ako, kaya tumayo na ako. Sumunod siya at lumabas na kami, habang nagkwentuhan nanaman ng kung anu-ano.

Ang labo niya, pero kaya ko pala siyang takutin… nang konti. Haha. Nakakatakot ba ko? Di kaya.

I just checked some comment on my Facebook. Len is my primary photo, and I’m proud of it Anyone could be his fan. Who couldn’t resist his charm?

Anyway, this post is not about Len, nor La Corda D’oro ~Primo passo~. It’s about the word itself in the title—crescendo. I tried to recall my music lessons, or something that would remind me of its meaning, but I couldn’t relate anything to it but the crescent. So I decided to google it. Lol.

And so I came up with the meaning about peak, climax, and intensity. So there it went, I thought of all other things that I could associate to it. I can’t think of anything but the song! The first lines reverberate in my head.

ichibyou goto ni kimi ga ITOSHIIzutto… mune no kodou ga hibiite irufutari de aruku kaerimichi futo damarikomubukiyou de tsutaerarenai omoi

And so there it went. I still couldn’t think of anything properly, thanks to these past few days. Ignore mantra shall be done. Thanks for the reminder. And so the mantra goes along with the song…

Do you know what it’s like to drown? I don’t. Well, sort of.

Okay. So I’m so not in the mood to write something as good as the papers which were graded 1, but let me be this time. I need to write to relieve this eerie feeling.

Did I cry? Oh come on, I DIDN’T!! You’re lying.

I so wanna scream.

What?

Did I just say that?

I returned to our house only to know that I need to raise the white flag, or the SOS flag, or anything that I need to do to ah… forget it. Erase. Okay, so I went home, got struck by something, realized I did wrong things, and also decided that it’s not worth my time. I tried the ignore mantra taught to me but it didn’t work out. So I started exploring Facebook and Plurk, and it alleviated my unusual heavy feeling and that. I saw many interesting things there, and also in Plurked I could use Japanese characters already. Wow. I used chrome and was delighted to be able to use the Java uploader for Facebook. Ah, wait. THIS IS ALL IRRELEVANT TO WHAT I WANTED TO SAAAY!! Anyway, sort of relevant. Teeny bit. A little. Just like that. Yes.

I wanted to punch something and strangle anything but it will help me more if it were a human or a living thing. God, I feel so stupid. Or maybe I should say that I did not start this. I want to clear myself. It all started long ago in 2007. Ah, great. Now I’m talking of nonsense that’s sooo irrelevant now. This one is.

I still feel bad when I look into my PC. God, I wanna fly away and escape. Or maybe turn back time and delete everything that would remind me of… argh. This is all meaningless. I hate myself.

The sight of them just made my jaw drop. When I took a short leisurely stroll along CBA and SE earlier, man, the leaves just struck me. I crossed from there to Sunken and saw more leaves. I suddenly wondered if I’m in the Autumn season or what. Doesn’t matter if they’re too messy in one’s sight, but definitely for me it was wonderful.

Leaves continued to fall down from various trees along SE. The wind accompanied them. It was pretty much a sight, and I was struck by it. When I checked the time, it’s time for me to go home. I really don’t want to leave the place I was standing, but I have to.

Will there be leaves again tomorrow? I wonder if the sweepers could finish those whooping piles of dried leaves scattered along Sunken and SE. There’s really a lot of them.

I wouldn’t wonder why my head aches this much tonight. Earlier, it’s my treat again, and I ordered nilagang baka. He ordered just palabok. So we ate again together, under the heat of the sun outside the cafeteria. There were peculiarly many people that lunchtime, and we bet they’re not UP students (or NCPAG Students to say the least). He finished first as usual, and I continued chatting with him while he does his Accounting 1 assignment. I wanted to take his picture while seriously engaged in his school work, but honestly I can’t make myself do it. It’s quite embarrassing.

I saw the Ate bringing some halo-halo to the unknown people beside us. Well, our table for two is located at the corner on the door’s side, and so I could practically see the delivered food to other people. So I told him, I wanted halo-halo but not the ube, and all I finish up is the leche flan. He chuckled, and told me that he also dislikes the ube flavor—but is eating the ube itself. When we talked about the ice cream, it was agreed that we both dislike it. Next deliveries were fruit shakes of  different flavors. I kinda craved for it again, and told him that. He offered to go and buy me my drink—my choice whether the usual cola, halo-halo or the fruit shake. So I happily took my purse and gave him 25 pesos.

He asked me what flavor of the shake will he order. I replied Mango instantly, and if there’s no Mango, anything will do but Strawberry and Ube. So he nodded and briskly walked back to the inner cafeteria. He returned only with the number 15, and we chatted again. The sun continued burning us to dehydration, so when I noticed he’s almost done with his assignment, I told him to go back inside with me. He agreed, and we continued chatting inside. The minutes we spent outside in the heat really made me feel sick. He laughed when I said that I’ll catch a cold under the heat of the sun.

After some meaningful talk, I asked him to follow-up the order. He did, and he noticed the pasta we’ve been waiting for. We both sighed in disappointment. The pasta came when we’re just done with our food. We checked the time, and I said it’s too late for me to come to 113. So we stayed till my shake returned. I was busy texting that time that I couldn’t drink it ASAP. He joked about how the shake might turn out, and I laughed, unable to start drinking. Then he took away from me the shake and threatened that he might take it to his next class (since my class is at the library). We had this bullying streak again. When I whined, he stopped and gave it back to me. After a few sips, I wanted to go to class, and he took it again from me, this time telling me that it’s his and he’ll take it with him. I snatched it away from me and told him that when I drank half of it, it’s his.

But he stood up and told me he’ll be late and he’s disappointed he didn’t have my shake’s remaining content. I smiled as he bade goodbye. He promised we’ll chat later, so I nodded in agreement. And so, that was the story of the Mango Shake…

Like blocks, every single thing in our life composes us and makes us whole. And when some block gets off the tower, it could either ruin the entire tower or not do any effect on it. That’s the same as little things that we experience everyday. And the only thing is it’s hard to rebuild our tower—especially if its something intangible.

So much for citing something and the like, I would just want to share some things me and my guy friend RA had talked about earlier. It’s all about interim relationships. First, let’s clearly define what interim here means.

In my POV, interim means an interval. In Pinoy slang, panakip-butas. In short, sort of rebound. Both of the parties just broke up with their previous partners and found solace in each other. So that’s what happened between him and her # 2. They were each other’s interims. Oh well, they had fun, as he told me. But in the end, he broke her heart. He couldn’t love her.

This sounds like a crazy phrase, but it actuality, it could be “Kiss and Make out”. Haha, not funny. Anyway, earlier I met with my estranged for two days you-know-who in Trinoma, and yes, it was a KaMo. Haha. Oh well, that was the one last thing I could ever think we’ll be doing—to meet somewhere there and do the usual Time Zone and lunch date. Of course, it’s at Mc Donald’s since it’s my recent addiction.

Anyway, after eating, we spent 35 pesos for a sketch-like thingy on paper (one which is computerized of course) “game” (or let’s say it’s an “activity” whatever) at Time Zone, the Van Gogh. It makes your sketch and you can pick whether it will be like penciled, charcoaled, and so on. So there it went. We had that sketch thingy for only one copy (35 credits, still a lot even though I got he Student Pack where 150 pesos will be equivalent to 200 credits). We played the usual games found in Robinsons and SM Megamall, and also the different new ones like Jump Rope, and others. Later in the afternoon, it was the ling bus ride again and I slept. The usual, I say. But that usual is something most of the people won’t understand, nor know about.

Bwah, we’re good again. But as I’ve said, it’s lesser compared to before. Yes, confusing. Things would not be the same again.

Haha, inverted ung paper I mean baliktad. Wrong side printed. Oh well,

The best of romances,
deserve second chances

I don’t believe in this line of a certain song. And also, I don’t like the concept of the John Lloyd-Bea film with the same title in my post.  As my friend said, it’s mostly about love lost… and found.

Once you lose something, it’s never coming back to you.

But if you insist of getting it back, chances are it will work—but most of the things that are essential have already flown away. You’ll only have something that’s a mere per cent of what you actually lost.

You will acquire it, but not of the same value.

Just like when Syaoran traded his existence in Sakura’s heart in return for the chance to travel around the dimensions and gather her memories—it won’t return: their love for each other.

I know it’s another thing, but it is how actually things work around here. Pretty much the morale of the anime. And trust me, I experienced that already.

Second chances are not good. They are for the worst.